I, Frankenstein

Director: Stuart Beattie

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Socratis Otto, Jai Courtney

Rated: PG-13 (Sequences of intense fantasy action and violence throughout)

Frankenstein’s creature finds himself caught in an all-out, centuries old war between two immortal clans.

 

I, Frankenstein

By Cole Schneider

Poor Mary Shelley.  From the opening narration we find this story to be a soulless recreation of her monster. “I, Frankenstein” spends its entire runtime explaining the rules of its universe and its characters to us yet paradoxically we feel more confused as we go. Every twist and turn of the plot is somehow dull and unsurprising yet also out of left field with a yet to be explained (is it ever explained?) motivation.

Moreover, “I, Frankenstein” represents the most confused approach to tone in film in a very long time. At times it feels like a children’s cartoon comedy, at times it feels like a self-aware SyFy channel original b-movie, and far too many times it feels so unintentionally bad that if feels as if it’s parading as a real movie. How this script was given 65 million dollars of freedom is inexplicable. The whole time it is as if we’re watching a production based on a rough draft. No one, it seems, actually thought this through. The script is clunky, the actors don’t know what to do, and the CGI keeps returning to the same stunts that were dull from the beginning. On no level does this the movie work. None.

It’s too serious and boring to laugh at and it’s far too goofy and senseless to take seriously. The problems in “I, Frankenstein” abound throughout. There isn’t likely to be a worse top-billed movie release this year and with theaters packed with so many great options, spend your money on another title.

Rating: .5 out of 5 stars.

 

I, Frankenstein

By Matt Greene

The trailer for I, Frankenstein says it all. Does the dialogue look stupid and clichéd? Yep! Does the action look boring and uninspired? Yep! Does it look like it was made BY middle schoolers FOR middle schoolers? You got it! Nothing will surprise you here. It hits every predictable beat and hits them with the grace and subtlety of a cow walking a tightrope…awkwardly and dumbly. The characters are rote and predictable, the makeup and cg (while not bad) is leftover from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, and the entire viewing experience is laborious and forgettable.

Set in modern times, Frank is over 200 years old and gets caught in the middle of a war going on between gargoyles, demons, and other fantastical characters. Clearly this isn’t Karloff’s Frankenstein; it’s more in the vein of stylized gothic action films like Underworld or Blade. Gone is the stumbling, sympathetic horror of the Mary Shelley; instead we have a Batman-wannabe shooting for mysteriously cool and coming off as just lazy and unrelatable. Poor Aaron Eckhart is still trying to find where he fits in Hollywood, and this isn’t it.

Fun game idea: see how long you can stay awake through this movie. Sure, there are copious fight scenes and mildly complex characters but no rational explanation for anything plot-wise. It may have helped if the filmmakers had their tongues more firmly planted in their cheeks, but instead we are left laughing AT them instead of WITH them. With so many great things in theatres right now, don’t waste your time on this.

Rating: .5 out of 5 stars

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